Episode 2 of The Hidden Series
Kai Bo breathed in and exhaled slowly, before he dived into the water in his diving suit. He swam around for a while but there was absolutely nothing. He resorted to diving deeper into the sea. This thing had to be in there, he was sure of it. He reached the seabed after some time and noticed a small rock cave just right in front of him. Kai Bo squeezed his "oversized" head through the opening of the small cave. The pen! He had found the one and only brush.
Legend has it that if the Magic Pen and Magic Eraser were united together, according to the balance of life, the ying-yang symbol, it would unleash its full power and either create eternal peace or ever-lasting havoc!
Kai Bo carefully removed his head from the hole, trying not to snap his neck before stretching his hand inside it, extracting the Magic Pen that was shimmering brightly. "Complete this riddle and you shall be able harness my power!" said the pen.
"Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see or feel it. What is it?"
Kai Bo thought hard, if someone can neither see or feel anything, the person must be dead. Dead people usually lay in coffins and no one really needs or uses a coffin. "A coffin!" Kai Bo exclaimed to the pen. The pen, opening the cover of it by itself, acknowledged that the answer was indeed correct. The gold jewels stored in the pen, that were the pen's main energy source, shined bright as ever. Kai Bo immediately propelled himself towards the surface as his suit was nearly running out of oxygen.
Upon reaching the surface and removing all his diving equipment, Kai Bo was still working out on how to use the pen. After thinking for a while, he ran back to the garage of his house. Kai Bo wrote on the air the word "bow and arrow", waited for 5 seconds before nearly 20 bows appeared and arrows were fired at the garage wall. Kai Bo quickly wrote the word "stop" and waited 5 seconds before the bows disappeared. "So Cool!!!" He murmured to himself.
"Bang!" Kai Bo, upon hearing the loud sound of an explosion, immediately ran out of his garage and saw a child about the same age as himself flying around, erasing houses and traffic lights, causing ultimate chaos around the neighbourhood. "That must be Edgar the Eraser," Kai Bo mumbled, gritting his teeth and clenching his fist.
(Note: When I write "something" with the inverted commas, it means I wrote it on the air using the pen unless stated other ways.)
"Fly". I levitated off the ground and flew towards him and shouted to Edgar. "How dare you wreak havoc in my city!" I roared at him. "You're not my mom, why should you care?" He retorted menacingly before throwing 15 mini-erasers at me, in which I wrote an eraser-proof shield to block it.
"Arrows". Instantly, arrows flew towards Edgar, he kept up with erasing all the arrows. Meanwhile, I crept up behind him and kicked him square in his face with my right leg. Edgar tackled me to the ground, which forced me to punch his hand so he would let go. "Stick" I wrote as a long staff in my hand.
The staff looked something like this.
I immediately hit his right hand, causing him to drop the eraser. Ensuring that Edgar could not obtain the eraser by kicking it away, I hit him on his neck with the long staff and kicked him on the stomach, sending him flying away from me. "Incarcerate". Ropes binded Edgar the Eraser, leaving unable to make threatening movements.
I reunited the pen and eraser, choosing to return the world back to its origin peacefully. I destroyed the eraser and threw the pen back into the sea, choosing that no one shall use those powerful materials ever again.
2 days later, in an unknown location...
"Edgar, I am almost done with my new weapon, come here and take a look!" A dark, burly figure bellowed out to Edgar the Eraser. When Edgar arrived at the figure's side, the figure pointed at an open egg-shaped capsule, powered by pillars of an illuminated matter on its top and bottom. "Step inside," said the figure. The moment Edgar was completely inside the capsule, its door slammed shut and locked with five sharp clicks. The burly figure then pressed a few dials and watched as the capsule filled up with light.
"AAAAAH, it hurts!! What are you doing to me!?" came a piercing shriek from the capsule.
"Don't worry, Edgar, it won't be long before you turn into a ghost, one who has unimaginable power, so that you can finally defeat The Good Writer!"
"But...but...I don't want to die-AAAAH!!!" continued the screams.
"You failed me, and this is the price!" shouted the figure.
Edgar's piercing screams continued for a few seconds and abruptly stopped. Right after, a blue plume of smoke emerged from the capsule, stopping right in front of the figure.
"This power...I have never felt so much better in my lifetime! So how do I find The Good Writer, Boss?"
To be continued...
This is the 2nd episode of The Hidden Series. To see more episodes, please refer to The Guide To D&KB Writing's Hidden Series at https://kaiboyeoh89.wixsite.com/dkbbookreviews/post/d-kb-writing-s-hidden-series-shorts.
Rating: 7/10
Comments: Honestly, this story just doesn't make much sense. Where would you get all that diving gear from right after leaving the hospital? And if you left the hospital without telling your mother, she would have been devastated and made a police report, so when you reached home there would be a frenzy going on. Thus, I think you can try to explain all these things in your story.
Plus, you should just write in either first-person tense (I) or third-person tense (Kai Bo), instead of using both. To avoid confusion, just write in first-person tense as it is easier.
This is a story that needs lots of improvement. I hope you can take up my advice!